Lobo Appaloosas - Rob's Wreck

Like most parents, we had problems trying to communicate with our teenage son. We had tried in every way we could think of to teach him right from wrong and had tried to instill in him a set of values that perhaps were more ours than his. We reacted with anger and disappointment when he didn't follow our guidelines. This gradually resulted in even more rebellion until finally, at slightly over 19 years of age, our son, Robby, chose to leave home and moved in with some people we strongly disapproved of because of their heavy drinking and partying lifestyle. We were hurt and terribly disappointed in him over this choice and believed he had made this move mainly to prove to us that he could do as he chose since he was now of age. As the months went by, we watched him become wilder and wilder and grew even more angry with him. His behaviour was an embarrassment to us in the neighborhood and we felt, a poor reflection on us. After about 9 months of living with these people, one evening while he was gone to a party, someone decided to have some fun at his expense and torched his little pickup. The resulting scene prompted him to come back and he moved back in with us. We were so relieved and thought perhaps he had learned his lesson and we might have another chance to straighten him out. This lasted only a few months until one evening, after he and Bob had had words, he moved out again, and right back in with the same people. We were terribly angry and swore we'd never take him in again. We decided there was nothing more we could do with him and if he wanted so badly to show the world that he could be a bum and a hoodlum, so be it. It was out of our control anyway. Just 2 short weeks after he'd moved out for the second time, we were hit with a nightmare that no words can begin to describe and I feel that God had decided it was time to take us all in hand.

On 7/30/99, we had a quiet evening and did a couple of things that were a little unusual for us. Bob had a back ache and had gone to bed early, and I sat out in the living room watching TV, something I almost never do. I fell asleep with the TV blaring. At 12:30 AM, 7/31, I was jolted awake by someone pounding frantically on our door, asking if he could use our phone to call for help - there was a bad wreck outside. I was uneasy about opening the door to a stranger in the middle of the night and went to get Bob up before opening the door. He was already out of bed and heading out when I got to the bedroom door. We opened the door and I pointed the stranger to our phone and listened while he called 911. Bob was slipping his shoes on in preparation of trying to help the accident victims until the paramedics could get there. As soon as the fellow hung up the phone, Bob asked him a couple of questions. The man said there were 2 young guys, one was up walking around, dazed, but he didn't know about the other one. He was lying there, not moving and there was blood everywhere. Bob asked if he could tell what kind of car it was and the fellow replied that he wasn't sure, a Yugo or Rabbit, he thought. Bob asked if he could tell what color and the man replied that he thought it was either gray or silver. It hit me then - that sounded like the little car that Robby had just traded for. I panicked and went out the door as hard as I could run. I could see the car across the road from our driveway and could not tell what I was going to face when I got there. It was so strange, being in the middle of the night and dark, but I was able to see things so clearly. As I ran across the road, I could see it was Robby lying there on the ground beside the car, covered in blood. He was lying mostly face down and twisted in a very unnatural position. His legs were under the car. When I got to him, I tried to find any signs of life but could find nothing. I started crying to God to please not take my son.

Bob reached us in seconds and made me get back so he could check him over. Twenty odd years ago, Bob had worked on a lifesquad for over 2 years and I prayed that he would know what to do. He checked him for vitals and found the pulse I had not found just moments before. He told me to run back to the house and call 911 again and tell them this was really bad and to get here quickly. I was so hysterical, I could barely talk but the 911 operator tried to calm me and said to get blankets to cover him with. I grabbed blankets and our Coleman lantern and ran back. When I got back, Bob told me to get down with him and start praying, that it was in God's hands. In 20 years of marriage, Bob had never asked me to pray with him, so that told me how bad it was, if I'd had any doubts. We both prayed and kept asking God to take our son into HIS hands and give Robby strength to hold on. We kept our hands on Robby and tried to let him know that we were there. I smelled gasoline and told Bob. He had said we didn't want to move him, but when I smelled the gas, Bob decided we had to be prepared to move him, if possible. But his legs were under the car. Bob started in and gently ran his hands down the length of Robby's legs, trying to feel where the car was sitting on his legs. We'd already noticed that the rear wheel and hub was completely broken off the car and knew it had to be resting on his legs. We were both astonished when Bob was able to run his hand all the way to Robby's feet. The car touched him nowhere!. We heard sirens coming off in the distance and prayed that they would get there in time. The other young man that was with Robby started getting upset and wanted to get Robby up, but Bob told him we were not moving him unless we absolutely had to because we didn't know what injuries he had. Travis got very agitated and kept leaning in the car yelling, "Hey, are you alright in there? Answer me!" Then he told Bob there was someone else in the car and they wouldn't answer him. Bob told him to sit down, help was on the way. Within minutes, a Highway Patrol officer arrived. He took a quick look and got on his radio and said it was really bad and we needed Air Care. An ambulance arrived within another couple of minutes and we had to move back out of the way so they could start working with him. At about that time, our wonderful neighbors, Dennis and Brenda Hughes, arrived to lend their support. Shortly behind them, the young fellow that Robby was living with arrived on the scene and became so hysterical that we were all astonished. He tried to rush to Robby, shoving the officer and paramedics. I was screaming at him to leave them alone, they were trying to help Robby. He shoved the officer again, and finally some of his friends who had come with him tackled him and got him on the ground. The officer came to us and told us that they were going to transport Robby to Georgetown Hospital and meet the helicopter there. The field beside the accident scene had huge electric power lines cutting across it and wasn't a good place to try to land a helicopter in the dark. They prepared to load him in the ambulance and we ran for the car. Dennis had already said they were coming to the hospital with us and offered to drive us, feeling we were in no condition to drive. Bob told him that we'd have to go to Cincinnati, so we had to have our car. We pulled out within a couple of minutes of the ambulance leaving. We put all our faith in God to protect our son and asked Jesus to ride with him.

We made it to the hospital and the officer came to speak with us. He asked us if Robby was the type of person to let someone else drive his car. Bob told him yes, we knew he had on other occasions. A nurse came out and asked if we were Robby's parents. We said yes. She said they were getting no response from him and we might want to come back and tell him goodbye. We started begging God again to keep our boy safe and keep him strong and fighting to live.
She led us back to the room where they were working on him. He was still unconscious and they were working frantically to try to get a breathing tube down into his right lung. They told us that they couldn't tell us the full extent of his injuries, but that he had head, chest, and pelvic injuries. He was bleeding into his left lung and they had to get the tube into his right lung so they could breathe for him. Even unconcious, he was struggling against them and they were unable to get the tube in him. We watched in horror and heard him start gurgling. I believed we were watching our son die before our eyes and a strength of mind came over me. I was determined that since I brought this child into this world, if he was going to die, it would be in his mother's arms. I pushed my way in and laid my hands on Robby and said a quick prayer telling God I was putting my son in his hands. Then I started talking to Robby, hoping that he might hear me, but unsure if he could. I told him that if he could hear me, it was Mom and that I loved him. I told him to quit fighting them and let them help him, please. I told him that we would always love him and that we were there for him. I asked him to not give up, to be strong, and we'd help him to get thru it. He went completely still and I thought at first that he'd just died, but then one of the doctors told me, "That's good Mom, keep talking to him." They got the tube down him and started breathing for him. They quickly got ready to transport him to University Hospital's Trauma Center in Cincinnati by AirCare. We asked God to ride with him and keep him fighting to live.

When we started to leave the hospital, Dennis and Brenda were there and told us that they would lead us to UC Hospital, since we had no idea of how to get there. So we spent the next hour and 20 minutes praying that God would keep our son alive. We arrived and were told only that he was in the Trauma Center and the doctors were working on him. I had called my parents in Indiana and Bob's mother and asked that they be praying for him. I'm sure my parents were beside themselves over getting a phone call telling them I didn't have time to explain, but Robby was in a terrible accident and to please start praying. I called them right after I'd called 911 and now several hours had gone by. Bob's mother arrived at UC and we all joined together and prayed.
After a couple of hours had passed, a doctor came to talk to us. He said that Robby had a lot of internal damage. He said he was bleeding on the right frontal lobe of the brain and had a gash on his head that they'd already stapled shut. His left collar bone was broken in 3 places, all of his left ribs, he was bleeding into the left lung, and his pelvis had 7 complete fractures. He told us that a section of pelvis bone was completely broken out and had severed his urethra and they'd had no choice but to go in thru his abdomen and insert a catheter into his bladder, and that would require surgery later on. He said that they had him stabelized and needed to take him in to surgery because of a leg wound that we were totally unaware of. He explained that the wound was behind his knee and lower thigh and said the best way he could think of to describe it was to say that it looked like a shark had come up and took a big bite out of his leg. He said they needed us to sign for him to have surgery and blood transfusions. I balked at the blood and had a fear of signing for that. I asked him what would happen if I didn't sign for the blood. He said they would honor our wishes but that in his opinion, Robby would die. I signed. He told us to go on up to the SICU waiting room and when the surgery was over, someone would be out to talk to us. Dennis and Brenda decided they would go on home, since Dennis had just gotten home from work when the accident had happened and was completely exhausted. They told us to not worry about the horses, they would take care of them for us. I called my parents to update them on what we knew up to this point. And the long vigil began.

It was several hours before a doctor came to talk to us. He said that the surgery had gone well, and they had brought him into the SICU where he would have around the clock care. He said that they had had to paralyze him from the neck down because he'd started fighting them again. I asked if he'd regained consciousness then and he said no. He said it would be a long road to recovery and we could expect at least a week in SICU, and then probably another week in the Burns Unit, because that was still Intensive Care and he would need that. He said then probably at least 3 weeks in the regular hospital. He said he wouldn't be able to walk for at least 2 months, perhaps longer, and would have to undergo therapy and learn to walk again. He said he would need to be placed in a rehab facility for this therapy. We knew we were facing a terribly difficult battle, and knew that we would need to provide Robby with a lot of support. The Dr. said they had him on life support because he couldn't breathe on his own because of being paralyzed. He told us that the bleeding in the lung had stopped. He warned us that the bleeding on the brain was in the part of the brain that affected personality and that Robby would probably have a different personality than we'd known. We asked if that was permanent and he told us that it was hard to say but they'd hope that eventually he'd regain his own personality. He said that would probably take several months.

We were told that we'd be allowed to see him for 1/2 hour every 4 hours. We were barely able to stand it until our first time we were allowed to go back and see him, but when we did, I broke down and cried over seeing him like that. His nurse talked with us and different doctors came in and told us that they would be taking care of his Orthopaedic or Urology problems. It seemed like the more we heard, the worse it sounded and the more confused and overwhelmed we became. We stayed the whole day and finally headed for home - 1 1/2 hours away that evening after visiting him again. We wanted to look at the scene again before it got dark. So many unanswered questions were going thru our minds. The doctor at UC had told us that his blood alcohol level was 2.25 . We had no idea what the number meant so asked him to explain. He said for someone of Robby's stature, that was passed out drunk - not far from lethal. We were ashamed of his being in this condition, but also enraged because we knew at his age, he couldn't buy alcohol so someone had bought it for him. And we were sure we knew who had done it.
Upon arriving home, we were greeted by Dennis and Brenda who had come down to feed the animals for us. And the young man that Robby was living with showed up. He told us that the police were trying to locate the fellow driving the little white pickup that had stopped to call and report the accident. Strangely enough, this man had disappeared upon our getting to the accident scene and we never saw or heard him leave and had no idea who he might have been.

The following day, Sunday, we were back at the hospital for the day. We were so excited when they told us that Robby was starting to show signs of waking up, but Bob was also very scared of being there when he woke up. He was afraid that because they had had such a fight and Robby had said that he never wanted to see Bob again, it might upset him if he saw Bob. I told Bob that I thought he should be there and he wanted it so badly, he went in to see him with me. At 11 AM, just 34 hours after the accident, we were able to see Robby conscious. He was very weak and groggy, and completely confused over what had happened to him. When he saw Bob, he lifted a shaky arm towards him to pull his Dad down to him and whispered that he was sorry and that Bob should have kicked his butt. It was about more than Bob could bear. By 1:00 that afternoon, he had made such remarkable progress, they decided to send him to a private room and removed life support. The doctors were amazed at how well he was doing. The following week saw him doing so much better than they'd though possible, they decided by Thursday that he was ready to go to a rehab facility. The doctors called it "miraculous". But Thursday, he ran a temperature so they kept him another day. On Friday night, he was moved to Ohio Valley Nursing Home and Rehab Center. This was only 20 miles from home, but still was completely out of the way for either of us from work. But we visited him every night. It took a real toll on us, trying to hold down full-time jobs and spend time with him every night but we felt he needed us there. The doctors decided to have him on his feet and standing barely over a week after the accident. He was not allowed to bear any weight on the leg that had been so seriously injured. Within 3 weeks after the accident, they started him walking with a walker. At 6 weeks after the accident, he moved up to a cane and was walking nearly normal. Everyone was amazed at how he was recovering. X-Rays showed that his bones were mending unbelievably fast. I might add, that after a couple of weeks, he had complained so much of his wrist hurting that they X-Rayed him and discovered that he had a broken bone there, as well. Five weeks after entering the rehab center, he was released to come home. I had no intentions of allowing it, but asked his previous roommates if they wanted to take on the responsibility of taking care of him and was told no. I asked only because Robby was having a hard time dealing with the fact that his "friends" no longer visited. We wanted him to know that they only wanted him with them for fun and games, but didn't want the headache of helping him when he was down.
I will add, also, that so many things didn't add up about this accident. We asked questions and kept feeling that we were missing out on something we needed to know. We asked ourselves how he could have been driving if he was "passed out" drunk as the Dr had said. A girl had told us repeatedly that she knew Robby too well, and he didn't drive like that. She said he'd just go out and climb in the car and sleep it off in the driveway. We'd gotten contradictory stories from his room-mate, and had been told that a guy driving a compact white truck had been out at the local gas station, one of their hang out spots, and made the brag that he'd finally gotten even with the little Zink punk; he'd run him off the road, made him wreck, and left him there in the car.

Finally, 2 weeks after the accident, as we were on our way home from visiting Robby, I told Bob that I wanted to go to the Citgo station and see if we could find out if there was any truth to the story about the guy in the white truck. We never imagined what we'd learn. The same girl was working that had worked the night of the accident, and remembered the night vividly. She said the wrecker driver, a man that Robby knew, had stopped there to call for directions. Then after he had the car, he stopped back in to gas up. She was able to describe the car accurately, so we knew we were talking about the same car. She said that right after the wrecker driver came in with the car, a carload of young guys, all drunk, pulled in and started arguing with the wrecker driver and demanding that he bring the car back to the one guy's house. He insisted that the kid that wrecked it had stolen it and it was his car. He and the driver had quite an arguement. She said this particular young man was pretty beat up, and his right hand was so messed up, he had to turn and have her get his wallet out to pay for his drink. She said the wrecker driver accused him of being in the car, and the young man said, "Yes, I was driving it". We were stunned, never having suspected such a thing, but realized that it made sense and started explaining so much that we hadn't understood before. She said the wrecker driver told the young fellow that the notarized title was in the glovebox, so the car was Robby's. She said the whole thing was on the station's surveillance camera. The next evening, we went to see the wrecker driver. He was pretty reluctant about answering questions but finally told us what we'd been sure of all along, the name of the guy that had said he was driving. Once he started talking, he told us everything he knew. I was so excited, I was sure we had everything we needed to prove that Robby was not driving the car. I called the investigating officer and was shocked when he told me that what we'd learned couldn't be used as evidence - it was hearsay evidence, but it was enough to convince him that they would have no choice but to list the driver as unknown. We were so upset but our hands were tied. We had no other leads. The following night, when we left the nursing home, we were followed and became more convinced that we'd finally stumbled onto the truth.
The police finally closed the case for lack of evidence, and Robby was left with no car and responsible for paying for the new fence that the wreck had torn out. Thank God that it was there, though, because we were told that the car rolled 7 times and the fence had finally stopped it. If it had rolled one more time, it would have been completely on top of Robby and I'm sure he would not have survived it.
It has been a hard battle, struggling to help him try to recover as well as he can. We've had several trips to the emergency room when his catheter clogged. We have just gotten the word from the Urologist that he has healed as much inside as he will and he's scheduling surgery for next month - January, 2000. There appears to be about a 3" displacement of the urethra and he has already said that they may have to take skin from his thigh to try to construct a section of tube to fill in the gap. He has warned that there may be trouble for the rest of Robby's life and the possibility that the surgery may need to be redone. He also said that Robby will never be able to father children. We are doing the only thing we can do - giving Robby all the support that we can and trusting in God to make him whole again. I will update this page with news as his surgery and recovery goes on.

We just celebrated Thanksgiving at my parents and realized that this year, we have more to be thankful for than ever before. But for the grace of God, this could have been our saddest holiday season ever.
HE gave us the greatest gift of all - our son's life.

I will always feel that Robby was gone when I reached him. I tried too hard to find any sign of life to believe that I overlooked it. Another thing that no-one has been able to explain was why the car was not resting on his legs. With the wheel and hub completely broken off, what was holding it up? I believe it had to be devine intervention. I believe we witnessed a miracle that night and over the following weeks as he progressed faster than the doctors imagined was possible.

HOW GREAT THOU ART!!!

Robby's surgery took place on Feb.3, 2000.

2/5/00 -Robby kept a really good attitude towards this surgery but did start getting a little nervous the night before. We were at UC at 11 AM and he soon was taken into the Holding Room and prepped. They took him to OR at about 1:15 and we started the long, nerve-wracking wait. Finally at 6:00, there was a call for us from OR letting us know they were just starting to close and a Dr. would be out to speak with us in about 1/2 hour. That was a long half-hour, because we still didn't know if the surgery was a success or not. The Dr. came and took us to a conference room and told us that the surgery went very well. They were able to locate the lower end of the urethra and, using scopes, went in from both directions and found the scar tissue. They removed about an inch of scarred urethra but were still able to stretch the remaining tissue enough to reconnect it without having to remove skin from his thigh to construct a section. We were so thankful for that. That would have involved several more hours in surgery. He said the abdominal cavity has a lot of damage and scar tissue, apparently from the piece of bone that broke out of his pelvis, and they removed as much of that scar tissue as they felt they could risk. He said, all things considered, they felt the surgery went very well, and were very hopeful that he could make a full recovery. He cautioned us that there will be no way of knowing for sure, though, until some time passes. They inserted a new catheter as well. The only purpose it is serving is to keep the urethra open while it heals. Without it, scar tissue would close it up again. This will take 3 weeks to heal, he said. Of course, only time will tell if he will heal sufficiently to be able to have a family of his own, but they are hopeful. He said that as well as it went, they would probably have him up walking the next morning and send him home in the evening. I was pretty alarmed over this because of the distance we live from the hospital - 1 1/2 hours away. We were told that he was already waking up and we'd be able to see him within a couple of hours. They called us from Recovery just an hour later and said we could come on down. He was groggy but seemed in good spirits. We visited with him for a while and decided to not try to keep him awake for that long and told him we'd be there to bring him home the next day.
When we arrived Friday, it was to find him chalky white and in severe pain. He was on two strong pain-killers but they seemed to not be helping him. He was depressed and said they'd tried to get him on his feet and had told him that he couldn't leave until he was able to walk, but said he just couldn't stand up. I had questioned in my mind when the Dr had said they would have him up walking the next morning. Shortly after we arrived, the Sr. Head of Urology came in, along with the surgeon that had talked with us the night before. They checked him thoroughly and said his wound was doing well, but the Sr. Dr. said he was ordering Morphine for him and would keep him on that for 48 hours and they would be keeping him until Monday. He told us that the surgery couldn't have gone better and he was very pleased. We had a hard time seeing Robby in so much pain, but knew this wouldn't be easy. Our concern is that since Morphine causes such irrational behaviour, that he may pull the catheter out, not realizing what he is doing. They already warned him that he must guard it with his life - if it pulls out, he will have to have the surgery redone. To be honest, we are relieved that the Sr. Dr. chose to keep him longer. This was a major operation and we feel ill-equipped to deal with complications. The closest hospital is over 1/2 hour away, and they do not have the expertise to deal with this. We've already had so many episodes with having to make panicked runs to the Emergency Room when his Super Pubic catheter stopped up and he was in so much pain he was frantic. We feel that until he is better, he is where he needs to be.

2/6/00 - Our visit Saturday started off with us walking in the room and Robby immediately climbing out of bed and moving very close to normal. We were surprised but very pleased. It was soon apparent that he was feeling the effects of the additional drugs. We found out that they had opted for Torodrol instead of Morphine and we could see that this had a more reasonable effect on him. He was still pretty goofy but nothing like when he'd been on Morphine after the wreck. He told us that he wanted to show us something and started digging through the wastebasket. We asked what he was after and he stunned us by saying he had to go into surgery again Sunday because the Dr. had broken his drain tube off up inside him when he tried to remove it. At first, we couldn't believe it, but once the drain tube was located, we saw with our own eyes that the end was broken. He told us that the Dr. tried to pull it out and it felt like his insides were being torn out. The Dr. tugged a few more times until it popped and came out. When he saw it, the Dr. said it looked like they had accidentally sewn a stitch into the tube when they were closing him up. They sent him to X-Ray and confirmed that there was a piece of tube left inside and the Dr. told him they would have to open him back up to remove it. This appeared to be approximately 4" from where it went inside his body. We were absolutely shocked and started wondering exactly what it had been stitched to that the Dr. had been tugging on hard enough to snap this tube.
We talked with one of the nurses and she confirmed what he said, saying he was scheduled for "on call surgery", which meant when the OR and the Dr were both available, he would go in. We were upset, feeling that he'd already been through so much, this was inexcusable. But when I called Sunday morning, I found out that he'd gone to surgery at 7:00. We worried ourselves nearly to death and were terribly upset because we had wanted to be there and felt they should have called us. That was a long morning, waiting to find out the news, and afraid to leave and head for the hospital. Finally, at 11:00, he was back in his room. I spoke with him on the phone and he seemed fine and said they had gotten the piece of tube out.
After reaching the hospital an hour and a half later, we saw he seemed fine and were somewhat reassured, but found that we were unable to find out much information. The surgeon was not there and the Dr. on staff seemed to know nothing. We feel that they are trying to brush this off and I'm sure they are afraid of a malpractice lawsuit. But they don't know the kind of people that we are. We're not worried about filing a lawsuit, we are only concerned about Robby's health and want him to be able to get this behind him. We're told that plans are still to send him home tomorrow provided he doesn't have any complications before then.
I will add updates as he progresses.
2/7/00 - He's home and doing very well! In three weeks, the newest catheter will come out and the super pubic will be capped for a week while the Dr. checks to see if he is able to urinate normally. He already warned us that it would be normal for there to be leakage at first until Robby regains muscle control, but we are hopeful tht this won't be a lengthy problem. As well as he's done, we feel confident he will recover just fine.
2/23/00 - Today was the 3 week checkup and we were dealt a hard blow. The Dr ordered another RUG test, to check for leakage at the repair site, before removing the catheter. The test showed there was still quite a bit of leakage. He said we'd give it another 2 weeks and test again. If it's not healed by then, we'll have to plan on more surgery. Robby took it hard. It was pretty obvious that he'd not expected this, even though the Dr had warned of the possibility, and it's been awfully hard for him to accept. But I have tried to keep him from getting too depressed. I've pointed out that the head surgeon said a urethra is slow to heal and said it takes 3 weeks. Considering the fact that he had to be reopened on the Sunday following the surgery, he's not had a full 3 weeks to heal, so I suggested that he not give up so easily. After all, he's done so remarkably well on everything else that we've all had proof that miracles do happen.
3/10/00 - What a day to rejoice!!! Robby's RUG test today showed that the repair site is no longer leaking and the Dr removed the regular catheter. He also removed the collection bag from the super pubic catheter and now Robby starts the process of learning muscle control again and can urinate the way he's supposed to. He is so excited! If all goes well, and he has no problems, the super pubic catheter will come out next week.
We are so thrilled and thankful. We feel we have been so blessed and have witnessed a miracle, no... several, with our own eyes. We thank God everyday for allowing Robby to still be here with us today, and for giving these doctors the knowledge and ability to repair these injuries. PRAISE THE LORD!!!

3/24/00 - Today's appointment gave us an unpleasant surprise. Another RUG test showed that the repair site WAS leaking. The Dr. decided to check him again in 2 weeks and see if it healed. What a depressing day for all of us!

4/7/00 - Another RUG test still shows leakage. The Dr said we'll go another couple of weeks and if there's no improvement by then, he'll need another operation.

4/26/00 - HE'S HEALED! The super pubic catheter came out today and we were all so excited, we were giddy. We know that all thanks and honor is owed to our Heavenly Father, who gave us the greatest gift of all, our son.

5/1/01 - A year has passed since Rob's catheter came out and every time we look at him, we give thanks for the way he is today. He seems like any other young man of his age. He is a walking miracle.